


Just Maybe

by unshurtugal



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 02:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3633684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unshurtugal/pseuds/unshurtugal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A middle-aged Kurt is dying, and reflects on his past regrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Maybe

Kurt was slipping in and out of consciousness periodically, numbed by the drugs and his own sorrow over the fact that his life was being cut much shorter than he ever thought possible, and the fact he couldn’t live to grow old with somebody.

But then again, he lost that somebody so long ago.

Kurt always pictured his life going a certain way. Becoming successful young, living a fabulous life in New York with his beau right by his side. They would then adopt babies and Kurt would retire early and eventually he would die in the arms of Blaine Anderson, completely content with the way his life went.

He soon figured out that planning things like that in advance only gave up promises of false hope.

Kurt and Blaine broke up in their mid-twenties, engaged but never married and it was so painful that the two couldn’t stay friends. It just wasn’t possible. Blaine moved away and Kurt didn’t ask where. He again hoped for something that was out of reach.

He hoped they would run into each other again, a reunion so sweet that could erase all the scars of what happened.

Kurt turned to his pillow and started to cry. It all seemed so silly now, now that he was on death’s door. All the mistakes of his youth and the fact that he should have fought harder to make Blaine stay. He should have fought harder to stay only working and not partying so hard on the weekends. He should have fought harder to be the strong person he always pretended to be. 

Then just maybe, all this could have been inevitable. 

"Kurt," came a voice through his semi-reality. "Kurt, don’t cry."

He really had the nerve to say that, when his own voice was wavering, and literally every time Kurt was fully conscious his father would break down into tears. Kurt tried to be more understanding, but it wasn’t making it any easier.

There is nothing more tragic in this world that a parent outliving their child, it was simple as that.

Burt was inconsolable. But there was something a little different in his voice today. He sounded scared in a whole new way.

"Dad," Kurt mumbled weakly, the fog from his head clearing as the pain returned, but that was the only way he could wake up.

Burt clutched his hand. “Someone is here to see you.”

Kurt didn’t fully register his father’s sentence until he could feel another presence in the room, and Kurt automatically knew who it was. Kurt blinked the last of the morphine away, his body still heavy and useless in bed as he tried not to concentrate on the pain.

"Blaine," Kurt breathed, and it sounded like a life sentence. 

Blaine looked as if he was carved from stone, his expression impassive all except for his eyes. They were shining with agony, but he was holding it all back. It was nothing short of awful having him here after all this time. He had lines around his eyes and his black hair was peppered with grey, matching his suiting stubble.

He was more handsome than ever, and Kurt turned into his pillow again. He couldn’t look at Blaine another second. Kurt prayed that it was just a drug-induced dream, but he knew deep down his mind could never conjure up something so beautiful and terrible. In his dreams, Blaine was always as he was when he left. 

"Why have you come," Kurt whined into his pillow, mortified and surging with a new pain at Blaine seeing him like this.

Crumpled, pathetic and broken, just like the last time they saw each other. But in a whole new way. If only Blaine saw Kurt when he was on top of the world.

Kurt heard footsteps and a weight next to him on the hospital bed. With bated breath that seemed deafening he whispered, “I was called here.”

"Why," Kurt replied, turning away from the pillow safe haven to face the bane of his existence. "Why would anyone do something like that to me?"

Kurt glared at his father, but softened at his hopeless expression, tears dripping down his wrinkled cheeks.

"I’m sorry Kurt," Burt ground out, his voice so shaky on the brink of totally breaking. "I didn’t know what else to do, especially after they found your living will. I just... I can’t do this, Kurt, it’s too much."

"My living will?"

Kurt thought about it briefly until like a lightbulb, it went off in his head. When he got engaged to Blaine, they both made living wills since they were planning on having a family. Just as a precaution really, but it was actually the only legal document pertaining to Kurt’s condition that still held some grounds today.

Kurt totally forgot it existed.

Blaine was his number one next of kin other than his father, a position Blaine took seriously since anything could happen, but Kurt knew Blaine would always make the right call. He was just that way. It meant that once Kurt lost touch with reality, Blaine would be making all the decisions for him. And Kurt had trusted him completely to do so. 

However, Kurt was fine with putting his life in Blaine’s hands back then, but what about today? He wasn't sure. Something indescribable swirled in Kurt’s gut and he didn’t know what to do with it. He curled in on himself, biting his fist and his father was almost hysterical again, pleading with Kurt, but Kurt wasn’t listening. His voice along with everything else faded into the background as his memories took hold. 

Kurt closed his eyes and saw a younger Blaine offering a bow-tie gum wrapper. Among many promises, the one stood out in Kurt’s mind: _to defend you even if you are wrong._

Kurt returned to himself and forced himself to look into Blaine’s eyes then, searching for any glimmer of hope. And what he found was so much more. Blaine’s eyes were the same as they always been.

Blaine’s eyes said sorry. Blaine’s eyes said that he still loved Kurt, and always has. Blaine’s eyes showed remorse for the other promises he made that Christmas but were now broken.

Maybe just one could stay intact.

Kurt threw his arms around Blaine and started to cry for himself and for everything. Blaine held him and kissed him and made one final promise.

"I’m here until the very end."


End file.
